My not-so-funny Valentine
Odes of loathe from one enemies-to-lovers character to another.
We all know that Valentine's Day is for lovers. It's a time when people are expressing their love for their special someone via gestures big and small—anything from breakfast in bed, to flying them to their own private island, and everything in between. Flowers and chocolates are two of the most traditional tokens gifted as a show of love and affection, but perhaps even more common is the simple love note, poem or card.
The tradition of Valentine’s cards apparently began in 18th century Britain where lovers would offer up handmade tokens for their affection—paper decorated with romantic designs, puzzles, and lines of poetry. These cards were then slipped secretly under a door, or tied to a door-knocker for their intended target to discover.
Today, though cards and other forms of the written words are common ways to express our feelings for someone special in our lives, more often than not, these symbols of affection are commercially produced en masse, rather than coming from the heart and hand, as they used to.
Still, it's the thought that counts, right? Right. But what happens when the Valentine's in question are enemies before they're lovers, and the message comes from the hate, not from the heart? Let's catch up with the haters in the Hate To Want You boxed set to find out how their characters are expressing their distaste for each other this Valentine's Day.
Wolf: "Marble -- For thousands of years, people around the world have celebrated this day as one of love, marked by exorbitant gifts, hollow promises, and in many cases, a night of unbridled passion. I'm not one of them. Neither are you. Enjoy your vibrator. - Wolf."
Maribel: "Wolfie -- You're a rabid dog in every sense of the word. Loathe you always, Marble."
Roses are red. Violets are blue. It would've been nice if I'd never met you. -Eve-
Violets are blue. Roses are red. Quit fucking around. Get in my bed. -Boston.-
“If you could tear your eyes away from the pitcher’s ass long enough to be a coach we might have a chance of winning a game this season.” Skip shakes his head. “Trying to shake something loose? Good luck.” He turns to look for the woman berating him. “It’s a start, but you need to focus on the field.” “It is Valentine’s Day. Not a single sweet word from you?” “Not for you, but you can send the first baseman my way.”
To my little bunny, Roses are red, Sometimes they’re dyed blue. (which is weird, right?) Love watching your ass run But like it or not I will catch you. — Lincoln
Big Bad Wolf, That’s not how rhyming scheme works. Instead of me, you can catch the clap from your next frat rager. Were you hoping for flowers and chocolate? Maybe a six pack and me in your bed wearing red lingerie? I got you an appointment at the campus clinic for Valentine’s Day instead. All my hate, —Briar
Tyce Roses are red, Violets are blue, Kiss me again, And I'll annihilate you
Thunder I'd like to see you motherfucking try.
Kate to Sebastian: Roses are red, puddles are wet, Stalking me from afar is the closest you'll get. Sebastian to Kate: Roses are red, my dinner is cold, But its infinitely hotter than your bitter little soul.
For more murmured words of hatred, pre-order the Hate To Want You boxset now.